How Would You Manage Conflict Within the Family or Group? Psychology
Thank you to Marianna Martinez, a member of the FFI IberoAmercian Virtual Study Group, for this article entitled, "8 Strategies for Conflict Management in Family Meetings." Yous have your choice of reading it in English language or in Spanish! More articles from this group will be forthcoming. We appreciate their taking the lead in helping us publish in two languages!
Family unit meetings present a claiming for consultants of family unit businesses. During these meetings, in addition to having a specific task in their specialized expanse (legal, financial, philanthropic, organizational, etc.), they need to manage the conflict that frequently arises when important topics for the family are addressed. Conflict is defined as opposition or disagreement (i). It arises when individuals faced with a departure of opinion try to change the feelings, thoughts, or behavior of others. Conflict besides arises when one person needs something from some other person, and, if he or she does not get information technology, tries to make the other person acquiesce to the need, sometimes past force.
All families have moments or times in which they experience tension, depending on the force per unit area to which they are subjected. A relaxed family is a very unlike organism to a tense family. When stress is loftier, people'due south capacity for thinking conspicuously, deliberately, and flexibly is macerated, and conflicts are more than frequent. A relaxed family is less vulnerable to conflicts and its members are more capable of making better decisions (2)(three). When conflict arises, the consultant is required to know how to manage emotional processes during family meetings, such that the family may regain a land conducive to reflection. The consultant needs to ensure that the conflict does not become an obstruction to achieving the objectives of the meeting. Differences of opinion, opposing points of view, and even heated discussions are not the problem. The problem is when emotions that arise during conflict obstruct the capacity to observe solutions.
The following are some strategies that can be helpful to reduce tension during family meetings:
1. Modulate emotional reactivity. Human being beings are very sensitive to the signals that we perceive from others, especially from our ain family. A expect, bodily posture, concrete proximity, or tone of voice is often interpreted every bit a threat and thus generates an firsthand emotional reaction (iv) leading to conflict. To modulate reactivity, the consultant may request that each participant address him or her directly, minimizing the interaction among family members. After listening to one of the members of the family and asking questions to elicit his or her opinion, the consultant then moves to another fellow member of the family and does the same, generating a dialogue 1-by-one between the consultant and the family. After listening to diverse members of the family unit, the consultant asks others what they were thinking while they were listening to the showtime person (5). This structure allows the person addressing the consultant directly to speak in the most articulate mode possible; and at the same time, it allows listeners to do and then, without worrying almost providing an immediate response, assuasive them to ponder farther what is being said.
2. Alter the focus of attention. When a topic generates likewise much tension, characteristics of reactivity brainstorm to manifest, such as searching for people to blame, raising voices, disinterest in conversation, or "tunnel vision." When this point is reached, it is recommended to change the focus of attention for a few minutes. This can exist done by asking questions almost aspects related to the topic, but with less of an emotional charge (6). This technique allows people to regulate anxiety levels and return to the matter at hand with greater calm.
3. Maintain a wide vision of the trouble. When emotions dominate the land of listen, complex realities tend to be simplified. Simplification is a machinery that helps in rapid decision making, especially in unsafe situations (real or imagined), but this strategy does not allow for consideration of various factors simultaneously (seven). The consultant, by asking wide questions, invites family members to take a wider perspective, allowing them to consider multiple aspects of the problem under give-and-take. Questions such every bit: "How did the trouble arise and in what context? Who is involved in the matter? What is the impact of one decision versus another on other persons or groups?" These questions stimulate family members to concentrate on understanding the result to be resolved with greater clarity and to remove themselves from the friction of the moment.
4. Concentrate on the facts. When people's perception of reality is contradistinct, they become more subjective and, as such, more than conducive to generating conflicts. If the consultant tin can concentrate on the facts more than on interpretations of the facts — for example, intentions, motivations, and suppositions — the objectivity required to talk over frail topics is facilitated (8).
five. Recognize emotions, but do not concentrate on them. Emotions are a good source of information regarding what is happening in the mind of a person and in his or her relationships. On one mitt, ignoring them only generates greater irritation, just on the other hand, concentrating on emotions tends to exacerbate them. Identifying the emotions in the family and giving infinite to everyone to express them is important. Likewise, it is important to ensure that the person does not become lost in his or her emotional world only maintains active intellectual functions (9). For example, the consultant might say, "I meet that this has been difficult for yous, non feeling appreciated for the work that you have done for the business. When did you begin to experience this way?" or "You experience angry because you lot feel that what has happened is unfair. Who else in the family feels aroused?" These types of questions recognize and validate the person's experience while pushing to continue a productive conversation of exploration.
six. Show involvement in the state of affairs and in the family. A genuine attitude of curiosity on the part of the consultant invites the members of the family unit to pass from the frustration to an attitude of interest that contributes to activating the intellectual abilities conducive to problem resolution. If the consultant shows an involvement in agreement how differences arise, to what are they a response, of what practise they consist, where does i decision atomic number 82 versus some other, etc., the emphasis of one family unit member on trying to convert another to a particular betoken of view is lost, and attention returns to gaining greater understanding on the topic, which changes the tone of the meeting and makes information technology more than productive (x).
7. Keep the objectives of the family unit in mind. In a family unit meeting, if the consultant notices that the chat is offset to deviate, and that conflict is arising, ane way to return to a more productive dialogue is to recall the objectives of the family and of the meeting. Making a reference to the objectives that brought them together is a quick way to resume a more constructive management (11).
8. Promote individuality. This recommendation may seem contrary to reaching a consensus, only it is not. A conversation in which individuals can express their ain voice and that allows divergent points of view to coexist is the offset step to arriving at a consensus. Sometimes conflicts in the family arise considering the positions that are taken have more to do with opposing the other person's position than with personal conviction. Consultants tin create spaces for participants to first think nigh their personal perspective. Peradventure they request that each individual write downwardly his or her personal perspective, and once participants are clear on their own train of idea, they can share and contrast their opinions with that of others (12).
Family unit relationships are the most of import and intense relationships in a person's life, for ameliorate or for worse. Relatives have a particularly strong influence on each other. On one hand, no one can go under 1'south skin similar a family unit fellow member; on the other paw, information technology is difficult to discover the aforementioned dear, security, and satisfaction that ane receives from their family. The consultants that recognize the power of family unit relationships and the laws under which they operate, wield an invaluable tool for their work. This knowledge will permit them to manage the conflicts that arise in family meetings in a more productive manner.
References
(ane) https://www.oxforddictionaries.com/es/definicion/espanol/conflicto
(two) Shields, G., Sazma, M., Yonelinas, A. (2016). The Effects of Acute Stress on Core Executive Functions: A Meta Analysis and Comparison with Cortisol. Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Review. Sep, 68: 651-668.
(3) Center for the Developing Child Harvard University (2016). Building Core Capabilities for Life. The scientific discipline Behind the Skills Adults Demand to Succeed in Parenting and in the Workplace. Center on the Developing Kid. Harvard University. Retrieved from: https://46y5eh11fhgw3ve3ytpwxt9r-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Building-Cadre-Capabilities-for-Life.pdf
(4) Tate, A. re (2018). 10 Scientific Reasons People are Wired to Respond to Your Visual Marketing. Retrieved from: https://world wide web.canva.com/learn/visual-marketing/
(5) Martinez, Chiliad. (2015). Aplicaciones Clínicas de la Teoría de Bowen. En: Rodriguez, G., Martínez, G. (Eds.), La Teoría Familiar Sistémica de Bowen: Avances Aplicación Terapeútica. (pp.155-178). Madrid: McGraw-Loma.
(half dozen) See, J., MacLeod, C., & Determent, R. (2009). The reduction of feet vulnerability through the modification of attentional bias: A existent-world written report using a home- based cognitive bias modifcation procedure. Periodical of Abnormal Psychology, 118(1), 65.
(7) Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, Fast and Deadening. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
(8) Gilbert, R. (1992) Extraordinary Relationships. A New Mode of Thinking Nigh Human Interactions. New York: John Wiley & Sons.
(9) Ochsner, K.Northward., Bunge, Southward.A., Gross, J.J y Grabriele, J.D.Due east. (2005). Rethinking Feelings; an fMRI Written report of the Cognitive Regulation of Emotion. En: J.T. Cacciopo y G.G. Berntson (Eds.), Social Neuroscience: Key Readings (pp.253-270). New York: The Psychology Printing.
(10) Martínez, Grand. (2015)
(11) Center for the Developing Child Harvard University. (2016)
(12) Martínez, 1000. (2015)
About the contributor
Mariana Martinez, CFWA, obtained her doctoral caste in clinical psychology with a specialty in family systems from the California Schoolhouse of Professional Psychology, at Alliant International University, San Diego, CA. She is a faculty fellow member at The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family unit, Washington DC. She hosts the Television set show Family Matters produced by the Bowen Center and the University of the District of Columbia. Mariana has a individual practise in Bethesda, Md where she serves clinical and legacy families, predominantly international families and many of them of Latin culture, residing in the Washington expanse. She tin can be reached at [email protected].
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